


gay thoughts and a love letter

by maddylime



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Bisexual Mike Wheeler, Coming Out, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Will Byers, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Mike Wheeler Loves Will Byers, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Mike Wheeler, Will Byers Loves Mike Wheeler, el is the best friend ever thats the tea sis, idk i just like love letter fanfics so i wrote one, rated teen cuz swearing haha, takes place after season 3, will's worried about literally everything just thought you should know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-08-23 11:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20242039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddylime/pseuds/maddylime
Summary: If you're in love with your best friend, you just gotta tell them. You just gotta.at least according to El, you do.Or, probably a better summaryWill has finally come to terms with his sexuality and his feelings for Mike. Luckily, El is supportive and strongly encourages him to write a love letter to Mike, which Will nervously does, struggling with his fears of unrequited love.But maybe the love isn't unrequited after all...





	1. Will's coming out

**Author's Note:**

> 😎this is the first multichapter byler fanfiction i've ever written!! 😎  
im actually kinda proud of it oof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> will has something to tell el hmmm i wonder what it is

It had been 6 months since Will moved away. Despite how much time he had to adjust, it was still hard for him to leave all his friends behind. Sure, he had made some new friends, but it wasn’t the same. How would it be the same? He hadn’t known them for nearly as long as he’d known the others. He missed his _ real _ friends. He missed Hawkins. 

He especially missed Mike.

On the day of their fight, Will admitted a lot to himself. 

Firstly, he was gay. That struck him when Mike said, “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”. It was a personal struggle that he had, but hearing someone else notice it, made everything real. He knew he was attracted to boys since a young age, but he always hoped it was a phase. Maybe he’d grow out of it once he found the perfect girl for him. But he already found the perfect person for him, and it wasn’t a girl. 

His second realization that night had been that the perfect person for him was probably Mike. This crush on Mike he had was always hidden. So much so, that he got used to ignoring it. He shunned it away from himself, afraid of his feelings. But it was always there, probably since 5th grade. 

Now that he accepted it to himself, he replayed all those moments they had together and realized how much he was...I don’t know? In love? Could you even call this love if you weren’t dating? Whatever it was, it was getting harder to hide.

Instead of just shutting down his feelings, he embraced them. This lead to everything he felt feeling like it was amplified times 10. He used to just occasionally think of Mike romantically, before shutting it down, but now he had started to have dreams about them going on dates. He used to smile when he heard Mike’s name but now his heart skipped a beat and he blushed at the thought of him. It was getting more and more noticeable, and he was afraid of someone finding out. Not just that he liked Mike, but that he was gay in general. People treated gay like it was a bad word, he knew this from experience. Mostly, he was afraid of his secret falling into the wrong hands, and for the bullying to become relentless. 

He thought if he took matters into his own hands and told someone, rather than it coming out in a worse way, it would be better. 

Though it was scary, he _ needed _to tell someone. He would feel so much better if he did. Of course, he wasn’t going to lead with the fact that had a crush on Mike. He probably wouldn't even mention that part at all. He would just tell someone that he’s gay and refuse to answer any questions about how he figured it out, or if he liked anyone. But who would he tell? He couldn’t tell his new friends because they could turn on him easily. Then, he would be gay _ and _ alone. He should tell his mom first, he knew she would understand. But, it might be too awkward. He could tell Jonathan, but Jonathan was already stressed enough with just life in general. He needed someone he could rely on, who he could talk to. Someone he wouldn’t leave and wouldn’t make anything uncomfortable.

So, that’s why Will made the executive decision to tell Eleven first. El never seemed to mind gay people, she was very open minded, and they had become closer over the months. They formed a strong friendship and El was always there for Will. She was the one who helped Will during his nightmares. She was the one who he talked to when he missed Hawkins and felt like he wouldn’t make any real friends like that again. And Will was the one Eleven talked to about missing Hopper. Will was the one Eleven talked to about her problems with Mike (which, admittedly, made Will become more hopeful about a relationship with him, though he’d never admit that to anyone but himself).

Will sat in his room, waiting for his mother to leave for work. Though he was strangely confident, he didn’t know the way this conversation would end, and he really didn’t want his mom to see him coming out of Eleven’s room with a tear-stained face.

He picked up his drawing pad and began to work on his newest art piece to pass the time. It was a drawing of Mike that he wanted to give to him the next time they met. It was a forward gesture but Will couldn’t help it. If he couldn’t be with Mike, he’d have to find some way to show his affection. He was sure Mike wouldn’t think anything of it, he was too in love with Eleven to see. Love really does make you blind, I guess. 

It surely made Will blind. After he realized he had a crush on Mike, he couldn't stop thinking about him. He had already been having intrusive thoughts about kissing Mike, but now that his feelings were brought to light, the thoughts were more detailed and constant. Before he moved away, he found himself slyly taking a look at Mike’s lips, wondering what it would be like to just kiss him right there. Sometimes, he’d move closer to him, and it made his heart electrify. He wondered what it would feel like to do everything he did with Eleven, with him.

It was stupid. So stupid. Mike wasn’t gay. Mike, obviously, wasn’t gay. And Mike couldn’t be bisexual either. 

Not with the way he shouted, “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”

Will should’ve been over it by now, but he just wasn’t. He kept replaying that moment over and over. Why would he stoop so low? Why would he do that to Will? He knows how much the bullying hurt, so why bring it up now? Clearly, he wouldn’t be accepting. So, clearly, he wasn’t gay. 

“Will, honey, I’m leaving for work. You sure you’re okay here with Eleven?” his mom appeared in his doorway. She worried about Will, especially because of his nightmares.

“Yes, mom. I’ll be fine” Will reassured, smiling. His mom smiled and left his doorway. Will sat in silence before he heard the house door shut.

It was now or never.

He pulled himself up from the bed and began to walk to El’s room. It wasn’t unusual, they had hung out plenty of times before. She wouldn’t suspect anything.

He made his way to her room and walked to her bed, where she was sitting. His confidence left him immediately as the realization that he was really doing this hit. She had heard Will come in and started staring at him. Apparently, Will’s face showcased his feelings even more than he thought. 

“What’s wrong?” El spoke carefully, as to not hurt Will. He realized that he was nervously fidgeting, and he couldn’t imagine how anxious his expression must look. There was a painfully awkward silence. Will didn’t know how to start and he felt too nervous to speak. Maybe this was a bad idea. It was good in theory but now that it’s actually happening, he can’t handle it. He brought his gaze down the ground. He couldn’t look up and see her reaction. He knew he looked like an idiot. He just needs to say it. He just needs to say two words. Two words. Why is it so hard to say those words? He just needs to open his mouth and-

“I’m gay.” Will rushed out. He felt his breathing become shallow. It was out there. He’s gay. He hadn't even said it out loud until now.

“Okay.” El smiled. Will looked at her. She smiled at him and didn’t have any traces of disgust in her expression. Will was relieved. There was a huge weight lifted off of him. Finally. 

“You don’t…?” Will trailed off, needing reassurance.

“No, Will” she motioned for him to sit next to her, “How’d you know?” Will sat down, and smiled, feeling almost overwhelmed with joy. Everything felt right in that moment. All his fears and doubts were washed away. It had worked out perfectly.

“Uh, I just…..was never that interested in girls,” Will confessed. He found himself wanting to open up even more. He never expected he’d actually get a chance to talk about this with someone. Still, he restricted himself and didn’t say anything further.

“Did you like a boy?” El asked, curiosity in her voice. It was just a regular conversation now, and she was genuinely curious, as any friend would be. Will felt strangely confident and felt the urge to reveal everything to her. As long as she never found out who it was, he could speak about it, right?

“Yeah. I, uh, still do.” Will admitted. He looked at her and, noticing that she was interested, he went on. “We’re friends and, it just gets hard to pretend that I don't want anything more than that, you know? I mean, I figured it out because I kept… thinking. Thinking about romantic things instead of friend things. And he just doesn’t like me like that. And it hurt. And one day, I realized why it hurt,” he continued. He decided to stop there, worrying he had already said too much. He didn’t want to give away too much but, he needed to let it out.

“Who?” El questioned, staring at Will, as if to try to figure it out. Will looked down at the floor in embarrassment. He was afraid of that question. Just how it did when he first walked into the room, his confidence suddenly disappeared.

“It’s stupid,” he mumbled.

“Tell me.” El urged. Her voice was soft and filled with curiosity. Will couldn’t tell her, he just couldn't. There was no way it would end well. But, he looked up at her face and saw that she was determined. She wasn’t giving up. He went too far, he mentally criticized himself. It was going so well, and he messed everything up. She must have noticed his startled expression, because she continued, “You don’t have to tell me, but I think you should tell them.” 

Will was confused. Tell them? Why? Obviously, El had no clue that it was Mike, or she wouldn’t have said that.

“W-why?” he stuttered.

“Because. You like him. He might like you too.” El explained. Will took a breath. There was no way Mike would like him back. Telling him was out of the question. But, how would he explain that without it being too obvious that it was Mike he had a crush on? 

“Eleven, he likes me as a friend.” Will tried to explain.

“And friendship could grow into something more.” El insisted. Will was in too deep. He knew he could just lie. He could just say that he’d tell him and then never do. But he was tired of lying to himself. He knew, if he said it, he’d feel free. He was still holding back, and he was tired of doing that. A strong part of him just wanted to tell her the truth.

“What if...it was someone we knew? Like, from Hawkins?” he suggested. There were a few moments of silence.

“I think....if it’s who I’m thinking of, they might like you back,” El hinted. Will froze. Who was she thinking of? Did she figure it out? If she figured it out, why did she say that? Hope set in as Will wondered if Mike did like him back. Was it all just wishful thinking? And why was she okay with this? Questions swarmed his brain and he didn’t speak. He was looking at the floor and nervously fidgeting again. He couldn’t even figure out what to say.

“Who are you thinking of?” he whispered, worrying he might not want to know the answer.

“We broke up. Weeks ago. I didn’t tell you, I’m sorry. But, you should tell him.” El explained, clearing Will’s suspicion. She was talking about Mike. And they broke up? How? Why? He couldn’t think straight. In fact, his thoughts were anything but heterosexual. If Eleven thought Mike could like Will, maybe he actually could. Maybe, all of his daydreams could turn into a reality. But, it had to be too good to be true.

He looked up at her and saw that she was a little worried about him. She smiled at him when she saw his gaze and, feeling a sense of comfort wash over him, he smiled back. 

“We’re not seeing him for weeks. I can’t tell him now, anyway,” he sighed.

“Write him a letter. With that drawing of him you made.” El proposed. The drawing. He thought he always remembered to hide it, how did she see it?

“How’d you know about that?” Will puzzled.

“You left it on your bed yesterday” El clarified. Of course. Eleven had come to his room out of boredom yesterday while he was drawing. When he got up to use the bathroom, he must have not put it away.

“What would I write? I can’t just…” Will trailed off.

“Will. Just tell him how you feel” El interjected.

And her smile let Will know that it was going to be okay.


	2. Will writes The Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its love letter time

It had been a week since he opened up to Eleven about his sexuality and, eventually his crush on Mike. Since then, he had finished his drawing of Mike. It was a close up of his face from when he first approached Will the last time he saw him. Will remembered thinking he looked so happy and beautiful that he was definitely going to draw him. He hoped that Mike wouldn’t think it was weird that he drew him, but El dismissed his concerns. She had been sitting with Will while he drew, watching him and giving him motivation. 

The day after their conversation, while Will was drawing, El explained to him how they broke up. According to her, they spent too much time apart and their feelings were fading away faster than they thought it would. It was actually El who initiated the breakup, but Mike complied. El said he seemed almost relieved. She didn’t say much else and Will didn’t force her to. However, he had this feeling that maybe the reason why she didn’t say much was that, Mike told El something he didn’t want anyone else to know. And, maybe it has to do with Will. He knew it was wishful thinking, but it would explain why she said he might like him back. El always took secrets seriously, so there was no way she would tell Will if that was the case. Still, he thought about it constantly, his hope sometimes rising and sometimes falling.

The anticipation of the whole situation was getting to him. He needed to know if Mike could reciprocate his feelings. Or if he’d just be gay, alone _and _ rejected all at the same time. So, there he was, sitting on his bed with a notepad and pencil, ready to write the letter El suggested.

But, he wasn’t ready at all. He had no idea where to start. He had no idea how to open this love letter that could either lead to a catastrophic mess or the start of a… relationship? Will wasn’t sure if Mike would want a relationship, even if he liked him back. Maybe he wouldn't want to try it, with his breakup with El being so soon. Maybe he just wouldn’t want to try a gay relationship and risk being made fun of. Maybe he just wouldn’t want to date Will at all.

Will’s thoughts were getting to him again as he stared down at the blank paper. He needed to focus on this letter. He needed to get it done so he could stop wondering all the time. The sooner he sent this letter, the sooner he could get some answers.

He picked up his pencil, establishing a plan inside his head. He would keep it simple. He would tell him he’s gay, then he’d say he likes him, and then he’d end it there. He couldn’t just pour out all of his emotions, no matter how bad he wanted to. There was the risk of rejection and the more he shared, the more painful the rejection would be.

_Hey Mike._

Now what? Does he just blurt out his sexuality as he did with Eleven? Or should he build up to it? The questions and doubts were coming back. He was stressed. There was every possible chance that this wouldn’t work out. Maybe he should just stop.

He threw down his notebook and flopped back on his bed. He could just stop writing. He could just chicken out and not do it. Should he give up? What was the point? He could lie to El and said he sent it. Or he could lie to El and say he doesn’t like him anymore. Or he could tell the truth to El, which was that he was so nervous to mess everything up that he just quit.

He wished he could stop thinking. He was tired of thinking. But, everything had to be perfect or it wouldn’t work, right? If the letter was even a little bit weird, Mike would never speak to him again. Right? Maybe he’d stay. Will didn’t know.

His mind wandered to how much he wanted Mike here. He wouldn’t even have to say anything, Mike would just know something was wrong by the expression on his face. Will wouldn’t have to give an explanation if he didn't want to, Mike would still comfort him. He would try to make him feel better and they would watch movies or play games together. He would stay with him. They would talk. About stupid things. And important things. Mike with his stupid, perfect face, looking at Will with his stupid, perfect smile. And his stupid, perfect lips. And they’d be sitting close to each other as Mike sometimes did when Will was upset. And they’d be so close that Will could just lean in and kiss his stupid, perfect self. And finally, get the kiss that he’d been stupidly wishing for. And he bet Mike’s lips felt soft, no matter how chapped they were. And- 

Will sat up instantly. He needed to tell Mike how he felt, or he was going to go insane. In a split-second decision, he picked up his pencil and notepad and started writing.

_I'm gay. And I know that maybe you might think that’s weird and you might not want to be as close to me anymore but I can’t keep hiding it  
it hurts knowing that no one knows this about me  
That’s why I was so upset that night  
You said it’s not your fault I don't like girls and I don’t know if you knew I was gay or what but it hurt me and I was confused and upset  
I didn’t know if you figured it out or if you were just repeating something everyone always said or maybe you didn’t mean anything by it  
but I never told you why I was so upset because I was afraid that you wouldn’t accept me  
Especially since _

Will stopped writing. Was he really about to tell Mike how he felt? The words were right there. He just needed to write them down. His doubt started to creep in, but he pushed away his thoughts. Yes. He was about to tell Mike how he felt. And he shouldn’t stop himself. He’s held back too much for way too long, he refused to hold himself back anymore. The emotions kept flowing out of him as words on paper. 

_Especially since I figured it out because of you  
It has always been your fault I don’t like girls.  
I don't know when the feelings began, but I know they were there for a while. I always pushed them away but eventually they became too difficult to forget. I always felt them there but I never actually admitted it to myself until that night.  
And now I'm admitting it to you.  
I like you. I like like you. I really do. And I know you don’t feel the same and it’s okay but ever since I figured it out I can’t stop thinking about you.  
You’re in all of my daydreams and I can’t stop them. I daydream about us, I want us to hold hands, I want us to cuddle, I want us to kiss, you’re just so cute and your lips are so kissable and I used to stare at them all the time and I want to be with you so bad and I just can’t and it’s tearing me apart and you can’t even see that.  
You’re so oblivious to it all. You don’t even notice all the hints I gave you. How I moved closer to you, how I stared at you all the time, and I was going to tell you before I left but I knew it wouldn’t end well and I just couldn’t bring myself to say it.  
But you’re just so awesome, Mike. You were there for me even when I was possessed! You never left my side and I could’ve been dangerous. You made me know that you cared about me and even when you dated El, you still did.  
It’s just you left me behind. It’s like I existed but not really. Like everything we had was just gone.  
And it was hard watching you fall in love with someone else while I was slowly falling in love with you _

Love. He said love. He already wrote it down, he couldn’t take it back. He didn’t want to take it back. It was true, wasn’t it? Of course it was. 

_Yeah.  
I love you. As a friend and also as so much more. I miss you. I wish I could _

His heart fluttered as he wrote the rest.

_I wish I could be with you. I wish we could be a couple like everyone else is. I wish I could kiss you and cuddle with you and hold your hand. I know you don’t want that. It’s okay. I get it. You don’t have to feel the same.  
But I just needed you to know how I feel.  
And if you do, possibly feel the same, please write back _

Will breathed. It was out there. He finally did it.

_By the way, I hope you like the drawing. _

Will smiled to himself as he signed the paper.

_Love, Will. _

He refused to read it over. He knew if he did, he’d regret everything he said. He’d probably tear it up and throw it away. Maybe he’d write it over again or just not write it at all.  
But he couldn’t go back now. Mike needed to know. He needed to tell him.  
He folded up the paper and put it in his drawer, where all his art supplies were. He promised himself he would send it in the morning.  
He knew he probably said too much, but at this point, he didn’t care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again feedback is cool!
> 
> also yea this will be updated every day


	3. Will thinks too much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> will's a worried child

It had been a whole month since Will sent the letter and he never got a letter back. 

When he sent it, he knew it would take a while before it would even get to Mike, never mind how long it would take for him to get a response. He was prepared to wait. But, they had sent letters before and it _ never _took this long. What could have happened?

He wondered if it got lost and had never been delivered. He hoped that was it. If the letter was never delivered, then it would make sense why he never got a reply. Perhaps, all of his worrying was for nothing and Mike didn’t reply because he hated him, he just didn’t reply because he had nothing to reply to. And also…if Mike never saw it, then Will could just pretend nothing happened and he wouldn’t have to deal with all the anxiety and anticipation filling him right now. He didn’t exactly regret sending the letter, but he was scared of the outcome. If Mike didn’t like him back, things would never be the same. No matter how much they could pretend it was, Will knew that there would be some kind of shift. He really didn’t want that to happen. Sometimes, he thought that it would’ve been better to just leave it alone. He had hid his feelings for so long, he could've just waited. Then, he wouldn’t be in this mess. 

Actually, he wasn’t even sure if it was a mess. Will hadn’t gotten a reply. Will had no idea how Mike felt. Mike could in love with him and his letter could be on the way right now and Will wouldn’t know. And maybe he was. In love with him. Maybe not that intensely, but maybe Mike did like Will. Just a little. But, he shouldn’t get his hopes up. 

He just couldn’t stop thinking of the possibility that Mike _ had _ gotten the letter and he just chose not to write back. He knew, well he hoped, that this wasn’t the case, but the thought was always so present in his mind. El tried to reassure him, but it didn’t help. She seemed so positive about the whole situation and Will could never understand why. There should be no reason to be positive. Either the letter was lost, or Mike never replied. She must know something Will doesn’t and it was driving him crazy. What if she knows that Mike likes him? Again, he shouldn't get his hopes up, but what if? Honestly, that seemed to be the case, but with this whole letter situation, it couldn’t have been, could it?

Why wouldn’t Mike write back? Maybe he did hate Will now. He can’t be friends with some queer right? But, he always stood up for Will in the face of bullies. Maybe Mike was just uncomfortable with how Will felt about him. Maybe he read it and didn’t know what to say because Will’s feelings weren't requited at all. He knew, at least he hoped he knew, that Mike wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings. So, to avoid that, Mike never wrote back. It seems like a Mike thing to do. But, even if that were true, it would still hurt Will. He spilled his heart into that letter and Mike didn’t even like him back. It was stupid to write so much, its embarrassing. 

But...if Mike actually likes him back, maybe his letter would work in his favor.

Again, it was wishful thinking and he can’t get his hopes up just so they plummet down to the ground.

But, as always, Will kept daydreaming. Will kept wondering. He couldn’t help it. There was always that “What if?” in his head. 

What if Mike _ did _ like him? What if his rambling in the letter was actually good? What if Mike likes that Will thinks about him all the time? What if Mike likes that he admitted that he stared at Mike’s lips all the time? 

Maybe they’d kiss. Like how he mentioned in the letter. And he’d finally know what it felt like. To kiss his crush. To kiss a boy. To kiss anyone in general. Maybe Mike wanted to kiss Will as much as Will wanted to kiss him. Maybe Mike actually really liked him and was nervous about his own feelings and that’s why he didn’t reply. Maybe he was just waiting to tell him when he met him again-

He was interrupted by a sudden thought. Mike _ was _visiting. Soon. Soon, as in two days from now. The thought made him blush and made him nervous at the same time. He didn’t know what he was going to do. Should he assume he got the letter? Or should he act like it never existed? 

Will thought back to how he was thinking before that realization. With all of these constant thoughts, he might just randomly kiss Mike himself. He laughed to himself, knowing he’d never actually do that. His daydreams were one thing and reality was a whole other. He would never get the courage to do that, no matter how much he wanted to.

Well...at least if he kissed him, he’d know his feelings immediately and there wouldn’t have to be some awkward conversation. But, there was no way Will was actually considering this, right? Admittedly, his mind was running wild since he sent that letter. Maybe too wild.

He knew he should probably calm down.

There was two days until he saw Mike again. He could wait until then to get all the answers to his questions.

But for now, he had to deal with his restless thoughts and his worried heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thx for reading!!!!


	4. Mike gets The Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well, he got the letter

“Mike, there’s a letter for you!” Mike heard his mom yell. It’s from Will, he assumed, they sometimes sent letters. He didn’t really send letters to El, they talked more on the phone, so he didn’t think it was from her. Mike and Will talked on the phone, of course, but not as often as they should have. Actually, Mike didn’t really want to talk on the phone...for a very specific reason.

That reason being that Mike...likes Will...romantically. And he really doesn’t want that to accidentally slip out in a phone call.

He ran to get the letter off of the table, glancing at it. It was definitely from Will, it had his name on it. Mike ran back into his room, shut the door and sat on his bed. Will sent him a letter and it shouldn't be a big deal. Then why was his heart doing fricken somersaults? 

Mike figured out that he liked Will when he moved away, which was probably the worst timing ever. Obviously, when he left, Mike missed him. Will was his _ best friend _ Nothing would ever be the same if he wasn’t here. Who was Mike supposed to talk to? Ok, yeah, Lucas, Dustin and Max. But they’re not Will. Mike and Will had this connection. Mike would find himself imagining what it would be like if Will was still here. They would talk, watch movies, laugh together. It was all, regular, platonic, I-miss-my-best-friend, thoughts. 

But, these new types of non-platonic thoughts started to creep into his head. Like, what if Will _ was _ here and you _ were _ watching movies together and all of a sudden he kissed you- and woah wait why was Mike thinking of that? He tried to suppress these thoughts but they became a kind of guilty pleasure. He kind of liked fantasizing about his best friend. But that was… a problem. For a number of reasons.

Firstly, Will doesn’t like him. I mean, Mike always kind of suspected that he was gay. He never brought it up or anything, but, Will never really paid attention to girls and he always seemed to take the bullies’ insults way harder than anyone else. Still, even if Will was gay, he couldn’t like Mike. He had seemed kind of distant ever since their fight. Actually, he seemed distant ever since Mike started dating El. Of course, that was mostly Mike’s fault. However, he thought that it would get better. It never did. Something shifted between them but Mike just wasn’t sure what it was.

Secondly, he found himself longing to be with Will and do romantic things with him, more than he wanted to with Eleven. He felt guilty! It was wrong to be thinking about someone romantically when you are in a relationship with someone else. Especially when you’re thinking about your best friend. Luckily, El had broken up with him which gave him a bit of relief. It still kind of hurt though, as break ups do. It was...bittersweet.

Thirdly, he was still unsure about his feelings. Did he even like Will or were these thoughts just normal? They couldn’t be normal, right? He was thinking about making out with his male best friend, that’s not normal. But if he liked Will, then what does that make him? Gay? No. He wasn’t gay. He liked girls too. Is there a word for both? Is Mike just weird? Should he just give up on Will and want El back? Does he even want El back? He didn’t think so. El was great but his feelings were fading for her. He wished they could stay and everything would be easy. But that wasn’t the case. 

He needed to tell someone about how he felt. He went through his options...Lucas and Dustin might make fun of him, he didn’t trust Max enough to tell her this and obviously he couldn’t tell Will. So who else? He knew it could probably end really badly, but he somehow felt confident in his decision as he picked up the phone and called El.

Mike remembers the phone call in its entirety. 

“Hey El!” Mike greeted, cheerfully. His cheerfulness was masking how nervous he was.

“Hi Mike” El replied. Ok, so how does he bring this up? Just say it, or? He should’ve thought this through.

“So uh, I wanted to tell you something” Mike prompted, very unsure on what to say next.

“What?” El puzzled. Ok, he’s gonna do it. He’s just gonna say it. Wow he’s the worst boyfriend ever, well ex-boyfriend. Whatever. He’s just gonna tell her what’s going on and then deal with the consequences. It’ll be fine right? It’ll be totally fine-

“IthinkIhaveacrushonWill” Mike blurted out. Shit. Was that okay? There was silence.

“Tell him” El suggested. What? Ok wow, that was not what Mike was expecting

“No! No, I don’t even know if I like him and he doesn’t like me so…” Mike trailed off. He really wasn’t expecting this to go well.

“Do you think about him a lot?” El quizzed.

“Yes” Mike answered, simply. Of course he did, Will’s his best friend.

“Romantically?” she quizzed again.

“...yes” Mike hesitated....Of course he did, Will’s so cute.

“Then you like him” El stated.

“But I’m not...gay! I like girls, I liked you!” Mike expressed his concerns. He literally couldn’t be gay, it wasn’t possible! How was El acting so cool about this?

“Bisexual” El suggested.

“What?” Mike exclaimed.

“You could be bisexual.” El clarified.

“That’s a thing?” Mike questioned.

“Yes” she answered. 

“Oh. Maybe I’m bisexual.” Mike decided. It would make sense. He likes both girls and guys. Bisexual. Huh.

“Tell Will” El persisted. Why did El want him to tell Will? Mike felt like she was hiding something. Maybe Will liked him too? And she knew about it? Probably not.

“No! He doesn’t like me! It could ruin everything. Please don’t tell him” Mike rambled.

“Fine, but you should tell him. It might work out.” El claimed. That only furthered his suspicions. 

“It might?” Mike, asked hopefully. Maybe El would somehow let it slip that Will liked him too.

“Tell him” El insisted.

“Well it would easier if I knew if he liked me or not” Mike sighed, slyly trying to pry for information. Maybe El did know something he didn’t.

“Mike, just tell him. I don’t think you’ll regret it” El encouraged. If El knew anything, she definitely wasn’t going to tell Mike. 

“I...maybe. When we meet next, maybe” Mike settled. 

“Good” El remarked. Mike could practically see her smiling. He wasn’t actually sure if he would end up telling Will. But, El seemed so confident about it. Maybe he would. Maybe he would actually do this.

That conversation was over a month ago. Ever since then, he came to terms with his feelings. He was bisexual and he most definitely had a crush on Will. Woah. But, he didn’t tell Will. He was too afraid of messing everything up. They had such a great friendship and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to risk that. Plus, there was also a risk of miscommunication, as he would be confessing over the phone, or through a letter, instead of in person. He had talked himself out of confessing many times, so he knew his excuses by heart.

Anyway, here Mike was, about to open a letter from Will, not knowing what it was about. “Maybe it’s a love letter,'' he thought. He pushed that thought away, that was just a stupid hope he had. It can’t be. It’ll probably just be Will talking about school or something. Of course, anything Will said (or wrote) was good enough for Mike. 

He opened up the envelope and found two pieces of paper. A drawing and a letter. Mike looked at the drawing first, and saw it was a drawing of him. Will drew him. Mike felt his heart flutter. _ Will drew him. _ It was a really really good drawing. God, Will’s so talented. Mike can't believe he drew him. This was so sweet, it felt like Mike’s heart would explode. It’s probably completely platonic, but whatever. Mike had a drawing Will made of him and that’s all that matters.

After studying the drawing Will made, and being giddy like a 5 year old boy, he picked up the letter Will wrote. Naturally, his eyes scanned over the page. Suddenly, his eyes caught on one sentence. 

_ I like you. _

Oh shit. OH shit. Is this...it can’t be, right? Oh God. Is this a love letter? Did Will write Mike a love letter? Shocked, Mike started to read.

_ Hey Mike.  
I'm gay. _

Ok, well that confirms that.

_ And I know that maybe you might think that’s weird and you might not want to be as close to me anymore but I can’t keep hiding it _

Oh my God, did Will really think Mike would think that? There’s no way he would think that, even if he didn’t have a crush on him. 

_ it hurts knowing that no one knows this about me  
That’s why I was so upset that night _

Oh. That night. Mike immediately knows what night he’s talking about. Based on what Will wrote already, he knows almost exactly what Will is going to say next. 

_ You said it’s not your fault I don't like girls and I don’t know if you knew I was gay or what but it hurt me and I was confused and upset  
I didn’t know if you figured it out or if you were just repeating something everyone always said or maybe you didn’t mean anything by it _

Mike regretted saying that as soon as he did. He really didn’t mean to hurt Will. It just slipped out. He was stating an observation he had and he didn’t realize his words could have other intentions until the words were already out of his mouth. He didn’t even know how to apologize for saying something like that, so he didn’t bring it up again. Apparently, it stuck with Will.

but I never told you why I was so upset because I was afraid that you wouldn’t accept me 

Mike’s heart almost broke. Will seriously thought Mike wouldn’t accept him for who he was. Of course, Mike would. Will’s his best friend. Regret filled him as he realized all of those times he cast him aside. All of those times he went with El and didn’t even listen to him. That’s probably why Will thinks this. Mike messed up. Big time.

_Especially since I figured it out because of you _

Oh.

_ It has always been your fault I don’t like girls. _

OH. Mike’s heartbeat slowly started to quicken. Will likes him. It’s right there. He confessed. Will likes him back. 

_ I don't know when the feelings began, but I know they were there for a while. I always pushed them away but eventually they became too difficult to forget. I always felt them there but I never actually admitted it to myself until that night. _

Mike can pretty much relate to that. His feelings for Will were probably there for longer than he thought, he just always pushed them away. It was easier to turn off his feelings than to confront them. 

_ And now I'm admitting it to you.  
I like you. I like like you. I really do. _

This must’ve been the part Mike accidentally read before. It’s happening. Will actually likes him back. Mike started smiling uncontrollably. 

_ And I know you don’t feel the same and it’s okay _

No! Mike most definitely feels the same. 

_ but ever since I figured it out I can’t stop thinking about you. _

Well, Mike can’t stop thinking about Will.

_ You’re in all of my daydreams and I can’t stop them. I daydream about us, I want us to hold hands, I want us to cuddle, I want us to kiss, _

Mike blushed. Will was daydreaming about all of the same stuff Mike daydreamed about. He wished he could just kiss Will right now, but he was so far away.

_ you’re just so cute and your lips are so kissable _

Mike thought the same about Will. He definitely had more kissable lips than Mike. 

_ and I used to stare at them all the time _

Mike’s heart fluttered at the thought of Will staring at his lips. How did he not notice that?

_ and I want to be with you so bad and I just can’t and it’s tearing me apart and you can’t even see that. _

Will’s right. Mike couldn’t see that. He wished he did.

_ You’re so oblivious to it all. You don’t even notice all the hints I gave you. How I moved closer to you, how I stared at you all the time, _

Oh, Mike’s an idiot.

_ and I was going to tell you before I left but I knew it wouldn’t end well and I just couldn’t bring myself to say it. _

Mike really wishes he told him before he left. Sure, he was still interested in El, but Mike definitely didn’t think he’d reject Will. They could figure it out together. And have time with each other without having to communicate through letters or the phone. 

_ But you’re just so awesome, Mike. _

Yeah, sure. Mike didn’t think he was awesome. The fact that it took him so long to realize his own feelings isn’t awesome.

_You were there for me even when I was possessed! You never left my side and I could’ve been dangerous. You made me know that you cared about me and even when you dated El, you still did. _

Of course Mike would do that. He really cares about Will, it’s what he deserves.

_ It’s just you left me behind. It’s like I existed but not really. Like everything we had was just gone. _

Mike sighed. He really shouldn’t have left Will behind. Not even just Will, he left all of his friends behind. It was unfair to them and he shouldn’t have done it. It was probably too late to fix it but still Mike’s heart stung, thinking how much it probably hurt.

_ And it was hard watching you fall in love with someone else while I was slowly falling in love with you _

Love? Maybe he didn’t mean it like that. Maybe he didn’t mean love like that. Still, Mike couldn’t imagine how it felt for him. Mike felt as if this had been too easy to him. He had just figured out his sexuality and almost immediately, he knows that his crush likes him back. Will didn’t have that sort of safety net. He, assumingly, never opened up to anyone about this and he had to handle it all on his own. He probably thought Mike would never like him back and he had to deal with the rejection, that he wouldn't even be sure about, by himself. Sure, Mike had a slightly similar experience, always telling himself that was weird for some of the stuff he thought, but he liked girls too. He could ignore how attractive boys were by noticing how attractive girls were. Will didn’t have that. 

Mike just wanted to run to Will’s house, as far away as it was, and hug him. He wanted to tell him that he felt the same way and he shouldn’t about not being accepted because there’s nothing wrong with him. But, that wasn’t possible.

_Yeah.  
I love you. _

Maybe Will did mean love like that. 

_As a friend and also as so much more. _

Will meant love like that. Mike tried to think. Does he love Will back? He wasn’t sure, but he knew he had strong feelings. Nevertheless, he blushed at the thought of Will loving him.

_I miss you. _

Mike misses Will too.

_ I wish I could be with you. I wish we could be a couple like everyone else is. I wish I could kiss you and cuddle with you and hold your hand. _

Mike’s heart fluttered for the 50th time. Kissing Will...how would that feel? His lips would be soft, right? They always looked soft. Ok, so maybe Mike stared at Will’s lips but now that Will said he did it too, Mike felt a little less ashamed. And they had cuddled before, but nothing too serious. What would it be like to actually cuddle…romantically??

_I know you don’t want that. _

Mike wants that more than anything in the world right now. As seen by his recent thoughts, his imagination was already running wild.

_It’s okay. I get it. _

No, Will, you don’t get it. 

_You don’t have to feel the same. _

Mike 100% feels the same.

_But I just needed you to know how I feel. _

And Mike needs Will to know how he feels. 

_And if you do, possibly feel the same, please write back _

What would he even say?

_By the way, I hope you like the drawing. _

Mike loved the drawing.

_Love, Will. _

Mike stared at the letter, then at the drawing. Will loves him. Will loves him. Oh my God, Will loves him. He smiled. Forget all of the worries trying to creep into his head, Will loves him! When they meet again, they’d probably get together. I mean, what would be stopping them? Everyone else? Let them judge, Will loves him. 

Wait, what should he say in this letter? He has to write back. 

But, weeks passed, and Mike still hadn’t written the letter. He always tore it up and started again. Soon, it was too late to send a letter. Mike would be visiting and the letter wouldn’t arrive before then. He would just have to say his feelings face to face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thx for reading i foreal appreciate it!


	5. Mike and Will confess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its the final chapter :)  
get ready

Will looked at himself in the mirror. Mike’s visiting today.

Will was excited and anxious as soon as he woke up, which was quite early. He tried to go back to sleep but he couldn’t silence his thoughts.

He was anxious because he didn’t know what would happen. He had decided that this could go one of three ways. Way #1: Mike got the letter, didn’t write back because he doesn’t like Will and is going to reject him when he shows up today. Way #2: Mike didn’t get the letter at all and everything stays the way it used to be. Way #3: Mike got the letter and is going to tell Will that he feels the same way. Unfortunately for Will, Way #1 seemed the most plausible.

He was excited because he hadn’t seen Mike in months. He missed him, so much. Finally, he would see his face and not just imagine it. He would hear his voice and not just over the phone. No matter what happened today, he got to see Mike. Maybe that would be enough for Will.

Unable to calm himself, he had gotten ready. He wanted to look his best today. He wasn’t sure why. He knew his appearance wasn’t going to change Mike’s mind when he got here. Whatever Mike’s mind said.

Will didn’t exactly have a plan as to how he was going to handle this. He just assumed that in the moment, he’d know what to say. At least he hoped he would. He also hoped that, maybe, El would be willing to give him some advice. 

He walked into El’s room, knowing that she was probably also awake. For some reason, she had been waking up early. Will couldn’t understand why, as he often slept in. 

“Hey” she greeted when she saw him enter. She had already gotten ready and was sitting on her bed, drawing, when Will walked in. She had taken a liking to drawing while watching Will draw Mike. She didn’t think she was that good, but Will had been helping her and, clearly, she had been practicing. 

“Mike’s visiting today” Will acknowledged, sitting down next to her. She set aside her art supplies and faced him, ready to talk. Will felt relieved that they had such a good friendship. As pathetic as it sounded, Will does need her advice. “I don’t know what to do” he laughed nervously.

“Will, relax.” El smiled. He couldn’t relax. No matter what he did, he couldn’t relax. 

“I don’t know. Do I bring it up first? I-” Will sighed. He was really clueless.

“Wait for him.” she advised. Ok, that sounded like good advice. That way, if he hadn't gotten the letter, Will wouldn’t seem stupid for bringing it up. 

“Ok, yeah, that makes sense” Will agreed.

“Can you help me with this?” El asked, gesturing to the drawing.

“Yeah! Of course” Will beamed. He’d feel too selfish to admit it, but having El ask him for help with art really gave him confidence in his own abilities. He was always told that his art was great, but he never really believed it. Plus, he liked teaching El. Art was something he loved to do and getting to share that with someone it...well it was fun. And for now, it would give Will a chance to get everything off of his mind.

They continued their art lesson and talked for about an hour. It was mostly just Will rambling about art, his anxiety fueling his words. They didn’t really discuss Mike, Will wouldn’t even know what to say. He didn't want to bother El with all of his concerns, though he knew she would listen. 

But, at one point, for no reason at all, maybe he was trying to lighten the mood, he wasn’t really sure, Will turned to El and said, “I don’t know how to kiss anybody.” 

El laughed, which prompted Will to continue, “What if he wants to? What if this actually works out and then I ruin it because I’m a bad kisser?”

“He won’t stop liking you because you can’t kiss” El assured. Wait. Stop liking him? Like as in Mike already does like him? Does El know something? Is this proof that El knows something?

They were interrupted by breakfast being ready. Admittedly, it would be nice to know if El knew if Mike liked him back, but he’d probably find that out soon anyway.

Will and El sat down at the table, sharing knowing glances. Mike usually showed up soon. He always seemed to show up early in the morning when he was visiting. Will had asked why he did and he said it was because he wanted to “spend the whole day” with them. It wasn’t just what he said, it was more like how he said it. He didn’t say it meanlessly, he said it meaningfully with a smirk and a sparkle in his eyes. It almost made Will blush. Sure, he probably was mostly talking about El but Will was also included.

They ate while making conversation and trying to ignore the problem at hand. Will’s nervousness increased, creating a pit of anxiety in his stomach that he just couldn’t ignore. El would shoot him facial expressions that meant he should calm down, and Will accepted them, knowing there was no way he would calm down. A few minutes after they were done eating, they were about to go back to El’s room. There, they would wait until Mike arrived, and Will would be able to freak out in peace.

As they were heading to El’s room, they heard a car door shut. Relax. It could be any car door. But when Will headed to the windows to check, It wasn’t just any car door. 

“Mike’s here” Will announced, shakily. Realizing he wasn’t ready for this, he walked over to El. He was about to make an excuse as to why he should stay in his room for some time and how she should cover for him, when El cut him off.

“You’ll be fine” she whispered. Yeah. Maybe.

The door opened and Will couldn’t escape. Mike walked in and their eyes immediately met. He smiled and Will almost melted. 

“That smile seemed too genuine to have been faked” Will thought. Will stayed where he was, trying to act as normal as possible. El approached Mike and hugged him. Will looked away. When he looked back, El had left. Mike was just standing there, looking at Will. Unsure what to do, he still stayed exactly where he was. 

Then, El appeared at his side again.

“Talk to him” she whispered, quietly so no one could hear. Will nodded and hoped he didn’t seem suspicious.

It was now or never. He walked over to Mike, shyly looking at the floor, not wanting to meet his eyes.

“Hi” Will greeted, quietly, trying not to let his nerves show.

“Hi” Mike smiled, and then continued, “Uh, can we talk?” That could only mean one thing, right? He must’ve gotten the letter. 

“Yeah, sure” Will answered. He saw El look at him and mouth the words “Good luck”, to which he smiled and mouthed “thanks”

He lead Mike into his room and noticed that Mike shut the door behind him. Like, fully shut. It probably wasn’t a big deal. But it made Will think that whatever Mike was about to say, he really didn’t want anyone to hear him. 

“I got your letter” Mike clarified, after a few moments of silence. Will took a breath. So, he got the letter. Why didn’t he reply then? Will’s stomach dropped. Mike seemed nervous. This was it, this was rejection. It had to be. 

“Oh” Will breathed. He just needed Mike to say it, say that he doesn’t like him but he still wants to be friends. Something like that. But, Mike just looked at the floor. Why is he nervous? Will’s the one getting rejected here.

“I really like you” Mike confessed, his eyes darting from the floor to Will. Will’s eyes widened.

This wasn’t real, right? How is this real? It couldn’t be possible. It shouldn’t be possible. Maybe he was dreaming. He wasn’t, it felt too real. He felt a weight fall off of his shoulders as happiness and realization started to fill him. Mike liked him. Mike _ really _ liked him. He imagined this moment so many times, but never did he actually think it would happen. As much as he hoped for this, he thought that all he’d get to do was hope. And now here it was. This moment. Here. All of these daydreams he’s had and they might finally be a reality. They might kiss. They might hold hands. It was like everything just changed for the better. All of these weeks of worry, and years of feeling wrong, and all of the doubt Will ever had, was unjustified in the best way. 

“Oh” Will reacted, not even sure what else to say. He smiled uncontrollably. Mike looked as if he didn’t know what to say next, but smiled too.

“Sorry I didn’t respond. I- I didn’t know what to say” Mike explained. “And I’m really sorry about that night. I shouldn’t have said that, it was stupid. I just really don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me, yknow? About… stuff like this. I would’ve accepted you even if I didn’t have a massive crush on you.” he continued, then looked as if he said too much.

“_ I _have a massive crush on you” Will breathed, repeating Mike’s feelings. He looked at Mike. How could someone this perfect have a massive crush on him?

“Yeah, I know” Mike chuckled. Will smiled and noticed that Mike looked like he was about to say something. He seemed nervous, but why would he be nervous? Will should be the nervous one. Ok, Will _ is _the nervous one. Is Mike just going to turn around and say this was a joke? Is he going to say that even though he likes Will, he doesn’t want to be with him?

Mike moved over to the bed and sat down. Will followed him, sitting close but not too close. Mike looked into his eyes.

“You’re so cute” Mike admired. Will laughed, almost out of relief. “Seriously, you’re so cute” Mike smiled. 

“You’re the cute one” Will countered.

“Not as cute as you” Mike flirted, taking Will’s hand. Will could feel more and more butterflies by the second. “You’re cute, but you’re not just cute. I mean, you’re really cute! But you’re more than that. You’re nice. You’re artistic. That drawing you gave of me, it was so good! And you always want the best for other people, even if it, even if it hurts you. You’re the best best friend I could’ve asked for. And I really really like you. I guess what I’m trying to say is…” Mike rambled, before stopping completely. Will was blushing, his face probably as red as a tomato. He was so in love with Mike. The fact that Mike thought all of this about him sent his heart on a rollercoaster. He couldn’t hold back his feelings anymore.

“I love you” Will blurted out, without a second thought. There was a moment of silence. All of sudden Will’s feet were plated back on the ground and his head was out of the clouds. He shouldn’t have said that. Not now, when things were still fragile. “I’m sorry, I don’t know-” Will started to apologize.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” Mike interrupted. Their eyes met.

“Yeah. Yeah I really do” Will answered, breathlessly. 

“Can I please kiss you?” Mike desired, moving his eyes to Will’s lips. Will noticed this and smiled. 

“Please do” Will answered, wanting it just as much, if not a little more, than the other boy.

Mike and Will both inched closer and closer to each other, almost painfully slow. Finally their lips met.

It was like fireworks exploded in Will’s chest right there. He was kissing Mike Wheeler, his crush for what like forever. All of his daydreams were reenacted right here and right now. They weren’t dreams anymore.

Obviously, since he dated El, Mike had had practice with kissing before. Will was essentially clueless, so he let Mike guide him. He barely moved his lips until Mike pulled him closer and put his hand on his cheek. The action let him settle into the kiss and he wrapped his arms around Mike. His face felt blushed but Mike’s eyes were closed so he wouldn’t see. Of course, when they pulled away, he would notice. Will never wanted to pull away. 

And then they pulled away. They needed to breathe, unfortunately. 

“Your lips are soft” Mike complimented.

“So are yours” Will reciprocated. 

To Will’s delight, they kissed again. 

He wasn’t as nervous as before and he felt himself feel less restrained. With every move, he filled it with all of the love he had. He moved his hands towards Mike’s hair, curling it slightly. 

They moved slowly and sweetly, with occasional moments of a fast pace filled with passion. Neither of them _ ever _thought they would be in this position, and they planned to savor it for as long as they could.

When they pulled away this time, both boys’ faces were slightly blushed.

“I love you” Will announced, again, but this time with confidence.

“I think I love you too” Mike gushed, smiling.

Then he closed the distance between them, yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u so much for reading this story!!!  
feedback is encouraged and if u want to request something for me to write then that would be cool!!  
again thanks for reading!!!

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is appreciated 😎  
thx for reading !!!!!!!!!!!!!


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